Mindfulness is More Than Paying Attention
Although many of us may have heard of the word mindfulness and perhaps practise it already, the traditional teachings tell us that it’s more than simply paying attention to the moment-by-moment experience.
Sure, we begin there, but the teachings tell us that we can in fact use the practice to go beneath the surface of our everyday experiences, which tend to be shrouded with projections, emotions and habitual thinking. When we go beyond the present moment and cultivate our minds to become more aware, we can see things as they really are, which is what lies at the heart of this path. When we see things as they really are, we’re able to move through our lives with less suffering, greater equanimity and, ultimately, more happiness. We have an understanding of which thoughts and actions lead us towards this happiness and which thoughts and actions lead us in the opposite direction. Ultimately, we know we are (mostly) in control of how we respond to life. This practice isn’t always easy, but with sincere effort and diligent practice, we develop our mind and heart muscles in a way that gives us more agency in our lives.
At the beginning of this journey, we start to set ourselves a baseline of presence and awareness for us to explore the deeper truths of our lives. For example, we don’t need to be Buddhist to know that the more attentive we can be towards our loved ones when they are going through a hard time, the more love and connection we can create. Or, when we are immersed in the presence of simple, everyday activities like walking in the park, we may be filled with a spontaneous burst of gratitude and connection. Deep presence brings with it a realisation that in this very moment, things are how they are. Sure, we might have loan repayments piling up, our relationships might be rocky – hell, we may even find ourselves in the middle of a global pandemic – but if you’re reading these words, at this very moment, you’re okay. This is presence.
The good news is that many of us are already mindful.
There’s a host of everyday activities to which we already apply what I call basic mindfulness. Can you remember the last deep and meaningful conversation you had with someone? The connection you felt during and afterwards? Do you recall what it’s like to cook a meal, and feel your senses come alive with the aromas and texture of the produce? Or perhaps it was at work during a high-pressure period where you felt yourself completely immersed in your task, in a flow state.
But inevitably, things change. Whether it’s a job or a relationship or an exercise routine, the novelty of the ‘new’ wears off and the spark is gone , and along with it our sense of being in the moment. We each have the power, however, to bring some magic back into our day-to-day lives, even when nothing particularly thrilling is happening.
If we can commit to living mindfully and choose to engage our curiosity and be tender towards ourselves and others, we’re able to be present to the changing beauty in all things without clinging to fixed views about how things should be. We learn to be emotionally flexible and to be open to the momentary experience. From this place, we fine tune our ability to witness our minds at work instead of being at their whim, and we begin to see things with much more clarity.
Seeing things clearly is a fundamental goal of mindfulness. Many of us are navigating lives that are stressful or relationships that are complex, or are simply feeling busy or lonely, or sometimes both. When our minds are unsettled and we are not engaged with the present moment, our perceptions of the world are altered. Being aware of ourselves and our bearings and not projecting our feelings onto others is a superpower.
In Pali, the language of the Buddha, the word for mindfulness is ‘sati’. Translated, it means ‘to remember’. Remembering is simply awareness combined with the wisdom of the way things are.
When we bring awareness to our thoughts and actions, we can see the feelings and perceptions that give rise to them. In doing so, we cultivate understanding of why we do what we do, which goes beyond simply noticing what we do. Why do certain patterns follow us throughout our lives? Why do we end up in similar relationships? Or work situations that feel familiar? This kind of awareness invites us to thoroughly engage with our lives, to not only be present but to also reflect on whether our actions in the world are truly helpful. But are our actions kind, generous and thoughtful? Or are they greedy, or coming from a place of anger or confusion?
The more we become aware of these things, the more we see that when we act out of anger or hatred, this leads to more stress or anxiety and ultimately doesn't feel very good. . But when we choose to act out of empathy, awareness and compassion, this makes us feel tangibly better.
The way to check in on this is through meditation, but the Buddha also taught us that we should practise mindfulness at all times. Whether we’re talking, eating or lying down, every moment presents an opportunity to practise mindfulness and, more importantly, to see reality. This is where mindfulness in this capacity goes beyond just presence and cultivates a wisdom in our awareness. We clear the filters through which we see the world and reduce any harm we may cause, even unwittingly. But this takes practice and dedication. When we choose the path of clear seeing,
-Excerpted from my book, Still Together. Click here to purchase a copy.